Perfect Timing & Angle

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Making Choices and Mind Your Language

For Today......

Credits to Randy Glasbergen (www.glasbergen.com)

and the time for some English lessons, around the world....
(shared via email - copyright, if any, is unknown)

In a Bangkok temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge , Norway :

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome :

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY, BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. 

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Living The Life

The three stages of life.....

Teen age
Have Time + Energy …but No Money

Working Age
Have Money + Energy …but No Time

Old age
Have Time + Money …but no Energy

If you are not expecting anything in life,
Then you are living the life ...

** uncredited images : cannot trace the source 

Ever Wondering...

( سورة ق  , Qaf, Surah 50, Ayat 16)

Dan demi sesungguhnya, Kami telah mencipta manusia dan Kami sedia mengetahui apa yang dibisikkan oleh hatinya, sedang (pengetahuan) Kami lebih dekat kepadanya daripada urat lehernya.

( سورة ق  , Qaf, Chapter #50, Verse #16)

It was We Who created man, and We know what dark suggestions his soul makes to him: for We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

What is the speed of darkness as opposed to speed of light?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
 

Did you ever stop and wonder.....???

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'

 

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

 

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on........!!!

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

(image credit : http://kara.allthingsd.com)

"You are nearer to me than my jugular vein"

You are my face; no wonder I don't see You:

such closeness is a mystifiying veil.

You are my reason; it's no wonder I don't see You,

 because of all this perplexity of thought.

You are nearer to me than my jugular vein.

Mathnawi:VI:666-68, Ver by Camille & Kabir Helminski,

 "Rumi:Jewels of Remembrance", Threshold Books, 1996

If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead,

don't try to explain the miracle. 

Kiss me on the lips,

Like this !  Like this !

(image credit : down-bedding-delights)

In Uttering It... Part 2

Remember Antares ? in the previous post, In Uttering It...... where the size of our mother Earth practically disappears ?

Here is VY Canis Majoris (click the last image), the largest known star..... whose physical size makes Antares disappears.

(Click to zoom the first image to refresh the memory on the previous "In Uttering It" post. Mother Earth already practically disappears in this first image. Click the 4th image to refresh the image of Antares. Click the last image to compare Antares against VY Canis Majoris. Then give a thought for one second on our physical size, just before we were about to utter "Allahu Akbar")

ALLAHU AKBAR !!!...

(click on each image to zoom it)

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Who are we, on the face of this Earth,
before the Yang Maha Agung....