Monday, October 31, 2011

Unusual Lawsuits


The following article was taken from HERE, posted by Posted by Evan Andrews on Sunday, August 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Frivolous lawsuits waste billions of dollars in civil courts, but they show no signs of slowing down, and every year they seem to get more ridiculous. We’ve all heard about the woman who sued McDonald’s (and won!) after she spilled coffee on herself, or the thief who sued a family after injuring himself while trying to break into their house, but those are just the tip of the iceberg. Here are ten of the most outrageous and unusual lawsuits to ever make their way into a courtroom.

10. Man Sues Michael Jordan For Looking Like Him

Everybody wants to be like Mike, except for Allen Heckard of Portland, Oregon. In 2006, Heckard sued Michael Jordan and the Nike corporation for over $800 million after alleging that his uncanny resemblance to the NBA superstar had led to defamation, permanent injury, and emotional pain and suffering. “I’m constantly being accused of looking like Michael,” Heckard said at the time, “and it makes it very uncomfortable for me.” Heckard included Nike founder Phil Knight in the case for his role in promoting Jordan’s public persona, saying that he couldn’t go out in public without people mentioning he looked like Jordan. Heckard, who is only six feet tall, said that people at his gym had even accused him of playing basketball like Michael Jordan.

9. Man Sues Budweiser For False Advertising

In 1991, a man named Richard Overton filed a lawsuit against Anheiser-Busch for false advertising that had led to emotional distress, mental injury, and financial loss. Harris alleged that, unlike the what happens to guys in their ads, when he drank Bud Light the ladies weren’t attracted to him, nor did beautiful women and tropical settings appear out of thin air, as they did in another Budweiser commercial that was airing at the time. To add insult to this grave injury, he also asserted that when he drank beer, he would often wake up hung over. Overton sued for $10,000, but the case was thrown out before ever making it to trial.

8. Man Sues Himself

In 2006, Curtis Gokey filed a lawsuit against the city of Lodi, California when one of their dump trucks accidentally backed into his car. The problem? Gokey, a city employee, was the guy driving the dump truck. Even though he freely admitted the accident had been his fault, Gokey sued the city for $3,600 in damages. After the city denied the claim and asserted that he couldn’t legally sue himself, Gokey filed a new lawsuit, this time in his wife’s name. A city attorney alleged that this too was illegal, but Gokey’s wife went through with suit anyway, and even raised the damages to $4,800, saying, “I’m not as nice as my husband is.”

7. Surfer Sues Over Stolen Wave

One thing all surfers hate is when someone “snakes” a wave that they were in a better position to ride. A California man once took this anger to the courts when he supposedly sued another surfer for “stealing a wave” that he believed was meant for him. The man alleged that he had endured “pain and suffering” as a result of not being able to carve up the surf, and attempted to take the wave thief to court. The case was eventually dismissed when the court stated that there was no way to put a price on the pain and suffering of being denied a chance to ride a monster wave.

6. Student Sues For Right To Smelly Feet

Teunis Tenbrook, a philosophy student at Erasmus University in the Netherlands, sued his school after he was thrown out for having unusually smelly feet. Professors and other students had complained that the smell was overpowering and made it impossible to conduct classes, and Tenbrook was eventually expelled from both the school and its library. He sued, and after a ten-year legal battle, a judge ruled in 2009 that having smelly feet is no excuse to prevent a student from continuing their studies. Upon delivering this verdict, the judge stated: “Our considered opinion is that the professors and other students will just have to hold their noses and bear it.”

5. Russian Astrologer Sues NASA

The Tempel 1 comet is shown after the probe from the Deep Impact spacecraft collided with it early Monday, July 4, 2005. (AP)
Marina Bai is a Russian astrologer who sued NASA in July of 2005 for allegedly “disrupting the balance of the universe.” At the time, NASA had just fired the Deep Impact space probe into the comet Tempel 1 in the hope of studying its interior. Bai sued for damages and “moral sufferings,” alleging that the comet and “the natural balance of forces in the universe” would never be the same, and that her astrology business would be adversely affected as a result. Bai’s case was originally thrown out, but was reintroduced after her lawyer was able to show that NASA’s office in the American embassy fell under Russian jurisdiction. She sued for over $300 million, which was roughly the same as the space mission’s total budget, but her case was eventually rejected after a physicist argued that the probe had no real effect on the comet’s trajectory.

4. Man Sues Corporations For Witchcraft

In 2008, a Canadian man brought a $2 billion lawsuit against several corporations after claiming that the companies had repeatedly dabbled in witchcraft, satanic rituals, and brain wave control in an attempt to bolster profits. The man, named Jerry Rose, alleged that companies like Microsoft and Wal-Mart had subjected him to “invasive brain computer interface technology, research, experiments, field studies and surgery.” Rose also named several universities and professors as defendants in the case, saying that they had helped engineer the “brain-drain” technologies that had made the mind control tactics possible. Lawyers from the companies argued that the case was outrageous and deserved to be dismissed on the spot, but the judge in charge of the proceedings agreed to hear it, arguing that all of the charges were capable of being litigated.

3. The Cable Car Nymphomaniac

In San Francisco in 1964, a woman named Gloria Sykes was injured after the cable car she was riding on malfunctioned and careened down a hill. Sykes suffered a black eye and some scratches in the accident, but she filed a $500,000 lawsuit against the city for a much more curious reason: she claimed the accident had triggered a “demonic sex urge” in her. Sykes said the trauma from the accident had led to her developing an uncontrollable nymphomania, and that after it happened she’d had sex with over 100 men, as many as 50 in one week. The case made headlines in the Bay Area when it went to court, and many called it one of the most egregious abuses of the legal system in history. But after Sykes’ attorneys successfully argued that she had developed a bizarre form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she was eventually awarded $50,000 in damages.

2. Man Sues God

In 2005, a Romanian prisoner named Pavel Mircea attempted to sue God for fraud and gross negligence. Mircea, who had spent twenty year behind bars for murder, claimed that God had failed to deliver him from evil, as he had been promised at his christening, and that this was tantamount to a breach of contract. Mircea sued for an undisclosed amount, partially to be reimbursed for money he had spent on prayer candles and other religious goods, and directed his case toward the Officials of the Romanian Orthodox Church, whom he considered to be God’s representatives on Earth. The courts eventually rejected the case, with at least one report claiming that it was thrown out because God is not subject to ordinary law.

1. The World’s Most Litigious Man Sues

Lawsuit against Steve Job (Apple) from Jonathan Lee Riches
When it comes to filing unusual lawsuits, few compare to Jonathan Lee Riches, who has filed an enormous amount of them in U.S. District Courts. Known variously as “Johnny Sue-Nami,” “the Litigator Crusader,” and “the Patrick Ewing of Suing,” Riches has been known to try and take anyone and anything to court. Targets of his over 4,000 lawsuits have included George W. Bush, the Somali pirates, NASCAR, NFL quarterback Michael Vick, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, Martha Stewart, and Steve Jobs. Riches, who is currently doing time in an Oklahoma City prison, has even attempted to sue historical figures like Plato, Nostradamus, and Che Guevara, as well as inanimate objects like the Eiffel Tower, the Lincoln Memorial, and Plymouth Rock. Arguably his most famous–and certainly his most ironic–lawsuit occurred in May of 2009, when Riches sued the Guinness Book of World Records for naming him “the World’s Most Litigious Man,” claiming that the company had no right to publish his “legal masterpieces.”
If you enjoyed these frivilous lawsuits, take a look at these stupid laws at Lawsome.net.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Hunger...

 

Hunger is the Sultan of remedies


Indeed hunger is the sultan of remedies.
Place hunger in the soul
Regard it not with such contempt!
Hunger makes all unpleasant things pleasant
But without it,
all pleasant things are rejected.

A man was eating bread made from bran.

Someone asked him,
"How is it you have an appetite for this?"
 
He replied,
"When hunger has been doubled through patience,
Barley bread becomes halva in my eye
s." . . .

God has given hunger to His elect so that

They may become mighty lions.

  Mathnavi V: 2832-35, 38

Translation by William C. Chittick
"The Sufi Path of Love"
SUNY Press, Albany, 1983

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Attitude

Once there was an old and very wise man. Every day he would sit outside a gas station in his rocking chair and wait to greet motorists as they passed through his small town. On this day, his granddaughter knelt down at the foot of his chair and slowly passed the time with him.

As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist -- since they knew everyone in the town -- began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live. 


The stranger walked up and asked, "So what kind of town is this that we're in?"

The older gentleman slowly turned to the man and replied, "Well, what kind of town are you from?"

The tourist said, "In the town I'm from everyone is very critical of each other. The neighbours all gossip about everyone, and it's a real negative place to live. I'm sure glad to be leaving. It is not a very cheerful place."

The man in the chair looked at the stranger and said, "You know, that's just how this town is."


An hour or so later a family that was also passing through stopped for gas. The car slowly turned in and rolled to a stop in front of where the older gentleman and his granddaughter were sitting. The mother jumped out with two small children and asked where the restrooms were. The man in the chair pointed to a small, bent-up sign that was barely hanging by one nail on the side of the door.

The father stepped out of the car and also asked the man, "Is this town a pretty good place to live?"

The man in the chair replied, "What about the town you are from? How is it?"

The father looked at him and said,"Well, in the town I'm from everyone is very close and always willing to lend their neighbour a helping hand. There's always a hello and thank you everywhere you go. I really hate to leave. I feel almost like we are leaving family."

The older gentlemen turned to the father and gave him a warm smile. "You know, that's a lot like this small town."

Then the family returned to the car, said their thank yous, waved goodbye and drove away.

After the family was in the distance, the granddaughter looked up at her grandfather and asked, "Grandpa, how come when the first man came into our town you told him it was a terrible place to live and when the family came in to town you told them it was a wonderful place to live?"

The grandfather lovingly looked down at this granddaughter's wondering blue eyes and said, "No matter where you move, you take your own attitude with you and that's what makes it terrible or wonderful."




It's attitude, not aptitude that determines altitude. Happiness is not something we find, it's something we create.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

A Matter of A Man and His God


MOSES AND THE SHEPHERD



Moses heard a shepherd on the road, praying,
"God, where are you?
I want to help you, to fix your shoes and comb your hair.
I want to wash your clothes and pick the lice off.
I want to bring you milk
to kiss your little hands and feet
when it's time for you to go to bed.
I want to sweep your room and keep it neat.
God,
my sheep and goats are yours.
All I can say, remembering you,
is 'ayyyy' and 'ahhhhhhhhh.' "

Moses could stand it no longer.

"Who are you talking to?"

"The one who made us, and made the earth and made the sky."

"Don't talk about shoes and socks with God!
And what's this with 'your little hands and feet'?
Such blasphemous familiarity sounds like you're chatting with your uncles.
Only something that grows needs milk.
Only someone with feet needs shoes.
Not God!
Even if you meant God's human representatives,
as when God said, `I was sick, and you did not visit me,'
even then this tone would be foolish and irreverent.
Use appropriate terms. 'Fatima' is a fine name for a woman,
but if you call a man 'Fatima', it's an insult.
Body-and-birth language are right for us on this side of the river,
but not for addressing the origin,
not for Allah."

The shepherd repented and tore his clothes and sighed and wandered out into the desert. A sudden revelation then came to Moses. God's voice:
"You have separated me from one of my own.
Did you come as a Prophet to unite, or to sever?
I have given each being a separate and unique way of seeing
and knowing that knowledge.

What seems wrong to you is right for him.
What is poison to one is honey to someone else.

Purity and impurity, sloth and diligence in worship,
these mean nothing to me.
I am apart from all that.
Ways of worshipping are not to be ranked as better
or worse than one another.
Hindus do Hindu things.
The Dravidian Muslims in India do what they do.
It's all praise, and it's all right.

It's not me that's glorified in acts of worship.
It's the worshipers!
I don't hear the words they say.
I look inside at the humility.

That broken-open lowliness is the reality, not the language!
Forget phraseology.
I want burning, burning.
Be friends with your burning.
Burn up your thinking and your forms of expression!

Moses,
those who pay attention to ways of behaving and speaking are one sort.
Lovers who burn, are another.'
Don't impose a property tax on a burned-out village.
Don't scold the Lover.
The "wrong" way he talks is better than a hundred "right" ways of others.

Inside the Kaaba
it doesn't matter which direction you point your prayer rug!

The ocean diver doesn't need snowshoes!
The love-religion has no code or doctrine.
Only God.

So the ruby has nothing engraved on it!
It doesn't need markings."

God began speaking deeper mysteries to Moses. Vision and words, which cannot be recorded here, poured into and through him. He left himself and came back. He went to eternity and came back here. Many times this happened.
It's foolish of me to try and say this. If I did say it, it would uproot our human intelligences. It would shatter all writing pens.
Moses ran after the shepherd. He followed the bewildered footprints, in one place moving straight like a castle across a chessboard. In another, sideways, like a bishop. Now surging like a wave cresting, now sliding down like a fish, with always his feet making geomancy symbols in the sand, recording his wandering state.
Moses finally caught up with him.
"I was wrong.
God has revealed to me that there are no rules for worship.
Say whatever and however your loving tells you to.
Your sweet blasphemy is the truest devotion.
Through you a whole world is freed.
Loosen your tongue and don't worry what comes out.
It's all the light of the spirit."

The shepherd replied,
"Moses, Moses,
I've gone beyond even that.
You applied the whip and my horse shied and jumped out of itself.
The divine nature and my human nature came together.
Bless your scolding hand and your arm.
I can't say what's happened.
What I'm saying now is not my real condition.
It can't be said."


The shepherd grew quiet.


When you look in a mirror, you see yourself, not the state of the mirror.

The flute player puts breath into a flute, and who makes the music?
Not the flute.
The flute player!

Whenever you speak praise or thanksgiving to God,
it's always like this dear shepherd's simplicity.
When you eventually see through the veils to how things really are,
you will keep saying again and again,
"This is certainly not like we thought it was!"


Mathnawi II:1720-1796
Poetic version by Coleman Barks
"The Essential Rumi"
HarperSanFrancisco 1995
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